ABSOLUTELY OBSOLETE! and it kinda hurts my ego, yah know…

July 30 —> @ night, I can’t sleep well. i’m excited to know how much would my salary be. i was expecting that somehow it would be more than my basic coz our PA-slash-long-overdue-bonus would be credited on my account. i was thinking that if i got an extra money, i’ll buy a new phone coz my fon’s not working that well anymore. (yah see… my fon’s NOKIA3315, manufactured last 2002)… thank GOd twasn’t 5110. if u got some time to trace cellphone history, 5110 was invented during paleolithic age. 3210 followed after. and there goes my 3315, shortly after.

C’mon guys, i deserve to buy a new fon! (deep sigh)

And so, very excited about buying a new one (preferably one with camera & mp3… gosh!), i woke up early. i went first to the bank to do "personal business." but looking at my atm receipt! darn! i was so, so, so, so, so DISAPPOINTED! i only had enough money! (i won’t disclose the amount though).but the figure showed that  i can’t buy a new fon!!!

And so, i decided to just do away with buying a new one. i ended up sweet-lemoning. yah know, thoughts like may-be-i’ll-buy-one-later-my-3315-is-doing-fine-anyway..(yah ryt!)

ok… so what i did. i decided to just do an "overhaul." i went to a cellphone accessories store. i bought a new charger (P150), and a new battery (P300). i also planned to buy a new casing, but that store did not have one. so… i went to another store only to find rubbish 3315 casings for sale! does any one still sell 3315 casing?!

very disappointed, i left the 2nd store in SM. and then i went to Gaisano in ayala. finally, i was able to find some 3315 casings (but still not so much options i had). light blue "very" ordinary casing, only for P150 with back-forward buttons that only functions as all-forward buttons… it sucks!

when i bought the casing, i was kinda hesitant to ask the saleslady if they’ve got any other style for the 3315 fon. i was afraid-slash-embarass that the saleslady might ask me, "3315?!" non-existent unit. sure, i’m proud i own one of the earliest units. may be i could have it auctioned for those interested in collecting antiques. huh?!

Absolutely obsolete! huhuhu…

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p.s. by the way, i’m broke ryt now kht bgo ko pa lng nkuha swldo ko. out of stupidity, or (be kind to myslf) i simply forgot that i’d have to pay apartment rental. i only have Php2100 left until the next pay day. I’d have to pay Php1600 for the rental. Pls, do the math for me. It makes my heart ache!

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Facts Curator. This means you are highly intelligent and have picked up an impressive and unique collection of facts and figures over the years. You’ve got a remarkable vocabulary and exceptional math skills — which puts you in the same class as brainiacs like Bill Gates.

===> nyahhahahaha…bill gates?! akalain mo nga nmn… but the huge difference between me and him is… duh?! obviously, he owns Microsoft and I own… ummm… nothing… yet? hehehe… be positive dude!

———————–

Prechell, your Key Motivator, the thing that really drives you to success in life, is Experience.

Based on your answers about values, past behaviors, and internal priorities, we can tell you look for ways to be attractive, to indulge in sensual pleasure, to receive support or encouragement, or to be stimulated by your environment or activity. In addition, you may find that you’re also motivated by aspects of prestige, stability, connection, and curiosity.

I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken — and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

=====> charot! mao ning akong gi-ingon nga another crap… ambot oi… samok! kapoi explain. anyway, the show must go on. life doesn’t stop until your dead anyway. hehehe… mao ra to. bow

I remember someone told me, an old friend of mine, I could do more. Be more. But in this place that I am at right now, in this place that no one knows me, I’m just a nobody. Someone who is just like anyone else. Slowly, that dream of becoming someone is fading away. When I was a little kid, I used to dream of becoming a doctor. No, actually an engineer (unfortunately, later I found out numbers aren’t my thing). Or so, I thought I could be a great teacher.

However, when I went to college, I took development communication, which others often mistook for masscomm. People, alright, some people would ask me what makes it different with masscom. That’s one question I really hate to address. Well, i don’t have to quote some definitions from any book. Oh, please, let’s do away explaining this. I’m tired.

Okay… okay… let’s get back to the track. Yeah, and so I finished my degree in devcomm. I got my majors in development journalism. My parents, my family, my relatives, my friends (or some of my friends) were proud of me. I even graduated with honors. But it did not mean a thing to me.

So right now, in this place where I am at, I’m glad that no one knows me. At least, I don’t have to be that great just because I’d have to to prove that I truly deserve that honor.

See? My point is I’M BECOMING SO PATHETIC… A MEDIOCRE!

I used to dream big. I know I can do more. I know I can do so much more. But it seems that I’m becoming nothing at all.

I remember that piece I used to memorize:

"please hear what I’m not saying… don’t be fooled by me. don’t be fooled by the face I wear. coz I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks. Masks that I’m afraid to take off. And none of them is me… pretending is an art that second nature with me. but don’t believe me… for God’s sake, don’t believe me."

… this is my favorite literary piece. This always reminds me that I should be strong despite some fallbacks. Or should I say, this reminds me to look strong, pretend to be strong in spite of my soul getting torn apart.

I don’t know what lies ahead. What seems to be clear before is becoming less and less lucent. My burning desire to reach my dreams is slowly fading away, turning into ashes, leaving me without anything else.

I know I can be more. I know I can do more. I should not stop believing that dreams can come true (nya… murag kinder… unsa? falling star?).

And so the infamous Gardo said, "cynical of becoming cynical."

I thank you. Bow.